A Bite Of My Heart Tonight
by stormcin
Summary: AU. Jasper discovers Seth's broken body on the beach, and can't help the hunger within him. But one bite changes everything. Can a werewolf survive vampire venom in his system, and can Jasper survive if he doesn't? Seth / Jasper. Jaspeth.
1. The Animal Inside

Twlight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Not me. If it belonged to me, it would be incredibly different... ;D

AU story. Future slash. This entire chapter has like four spoken words. WTF?

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The scent of blood was almost lost in the rain. Slowing from a run, Jasper lifted his face to the gusting wind. The smell of wet pine almost overwhelmed him, but the smell of blood was there, obscured beneath the scent of thick forest mud, ocean brine and the musk of cougar.

Human blood.

Injured prey.

Jasper felt his stomach clench. He couldn't do this, couldn't kill a human. Couldn't press his mouth to their neck and feel their body grow cold in his embrace. He thought of the disappointment that would show in his siblings eyes if he slacked his bloodlust. His gums ached at the thought of ripping the flesh from his prey's neck, of drinking in the blood. Of its hot, coppery taste as it spilt down his chin. Of the dying moans of his prey as the human blood pooled in his mouth.

His fingers and unclenching at the air, Jasper started towards the start of blood.

Unbeknownst to him, his eyes darkened from their usual gold to the darkest of black. Pushing his way through ferns, animal instinct guided his feet on the rutted ground. He moved slowly to keep from losing the scent in as the scents around him changed from forest to sea. Whatever, whoever, was dying out there, its heart was still pumping out blood, though Jasper doubted there was much left in its body.

Yet, it was hard with the rain, and with the scent of cougar in his nose, but there was something feral to the scent of this blood. Something animal-like.

It wasn't enough to deter Jasper. His mind had dropped into a predatory state, and the feral tinge to the blood barely raised a flicker of attention in his mind. He travelled on, drawn closer to the werewolves' border. Still, he did not slow. His mind was ravaged by the thought of blood. Of the idea of breaking skin and drinking in the dying screams. The idea haunted him. It sharpened every instinct the change had brought upon him. What did he care if he crossed a border? If he broke a treaty?

He pushed on, passing over the border into La Push territory. Ahead, the ocean lazily drew itself up onto the sandy beach, and then, just as idly, shoved itself away. Forever letting the shore think for one impossible second that it had convinced the ocean to stay, to live contentment with it, before the ocean drew away, leaving nothing but the wet memories of its touch.

Birds circled above the dying thing that lay half in the surf. Waves crashed relentlessly onto its lower half, but they didn't carry away the blood it spilt. The creature's heart blood stained the grey sand red aside its chest.

Grey, Jasper noted indistinctly as he stalked towards it. Everything was grey. The sky, the sand, the ocean. Even the boy's skin – normally such a spirited shade of brown – was grey. The only thing of colour was the blood pouring from his chest and staining the sand.

Heedless of the blood soaked sand, Jasper dropped to his knees. The smell of blood was all he could sense. It hung heavy in his nose, in his mouth. Copper mixed with the salt of the ocean and feral sweat.

Blinking himself from his daze, Jasper looked at the wounds on the boy's shirtless chest. Five deep cuts sliced from his shoulder to the end of his ribcage. Blood ran sluggishly from them now. He was lucky his prey hadn't suffered deeper wounds – it would have bled out before Jasper had found him.

The creature – no, Seth. The name was like a whisper in his mind. The sound of wind rustling through trees, raindrops against a windowpane, and the deep, joyful calm that only this creature carried. Jasper wasn't sure where it had come from. He shoved it away fiercely, moving his head closer to the blood pumping from the prey's chest. Leaning down, he delicately ran his tongue over the longest, and deepest cut.

The creature, Seth, prey – his mind couldn't decide what to call it. Whatever it was stirred beneath him. Licking blood from his own lower lip, Jasper glanced up. It was still conscious. Instinct screamed for him to leap up, rip its throat out. End any chance for it to escape. For some reason though, he hesitated.

Salt crusted the face and body of his prey. Jasper could taste it in his mouth. Copper blood. Salt. Something else, something not human.

Salt encrusted eyelashes fluttered, then lifted, revealing dulled black eyes. None of the snapping light that Jasper dimly thought should be there. The prey, Seth, whatever it was, coughed, blood spilling from its mouth, over a plump lower lip. The movement caused a great deal of blood to spill from his chest, leaking over Jasper's hand.

Deadly slow, Jasper moved towards its head, eyes locked on the blood on his lips. The creature groaned. "Ja..." It started, then coughed again. More hot blood spilled over Jasper's hand, but Jasper couldn't take his gaze from the cerise liquid staining its lower lip.

"Jasper," the creature managed to say, its voice weak and raspy.

Jasper stilled, his head tilting slightly. He knew that name. It meant something to him, but he couldn't remember what. The prey's eyes were dull, but he watched them find his own, watched the delicious fear that flared in them.

Overcome by instincts, Jasper dropped his head to his prey's neck. A flood of smells met his nose. Ocean brine. Forest. Wet dog. Blood. The creature tensed beneath him, shoulders drawn up to protect his neck. Through a few flimsy layers of blood soaked clothing, Jasper could feel his heart beating like a rabbit's.

"Wha... Jas..." The prey moaned again, its face twisted with pain.

Grasping his prey's chin, he forced the creature's head to the side, revealing an expanse of salt encrusted flesh. Placing his lips with careful precision on the fluttering jugular, he bit.

Pulling the boy's blood from his veins, Jasper was barely aware of Seth's screaming.


	2. The Chemicals Kicking In

I don't own Twilight. Obviously.

Thank you for the lovely reviews/faves. Makes my day. (lol. look. dialogue.)

Enjoy :3

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Blood splattered the ground as Jasper lurched away from the werewolf's body. His body rebelled again; more blood spilling from his mouth. It stained the wet sand beneath his bare feet as his mind slowly dropped from its predatory state.

The blood in his mouth tasted of animal. But something was wrong with it. It was sharper. Stronger.

Human.

The thought brought up another wave of blood. What kind of blood mixed an animal's feral taste with a human's vitality? He knew, and his stomach twisted. An image of the Cullen's at war burnt behind his eyelids. Sam would lead the pack against them, Jacob would turn against them, and they would rip the Cullen's to shreds.

But whose blood had he been drinking?

Vaguely, he remembered his tongue travelling over soft flesh, the bloody mockery of lipstick on lips. But the face was a blur, a mix of soft angles and silken black hair. Wiping blood from his own lips, he turned back towards the body.

Seth's naked form was a ravaged mess. At least the blood had stopped flowing from his chest. Battered by the sea, his legs twisted at angles that no human creature should be in. Blood had soaked into the sand beneath the shark-like bite that Jasper had left on his neck.

"God protect me," Jasper breathed, crossing himself.

Black silhouettes of birds against the grey sky circled above them. Moving forward, the world shifted beneath Jasper's bare feet. For a moment, his view of the beach tilted, till the ocean was throwing itself uphill. As the world righted itself, he knelt beside Seth's body.

When the others found out about this...

Did killing a werewolf count as murdering a human, he wondered, ghosting his fingers over Seth's wet cheek. It certainty felt the same. Same horror. Same grief.

He rested his forehead against Seth's broken chest. The boy's wet skin was cold against his. "I'm sorry." he gasped, as a foggy memory of Seth's broken voice rasping his name surfaced. "God help me, I'm sorry, Seth."

Standing, he lifted the boy into his arms. A rational part of his mind whispered for him to swim out to where the tides took away all, to sink the body where it would never be found. But he couldn't. He wouldn't. No matter what, he couldn't leave him here, on this godforsaken beach.

He started for home at a run.

...

Esme was in the kitchen, her back turned to him, taking a tray of cookies from the oven. She glanced back as the door slammed shut behind him. Her pleasantly bemused face transformed at the sight of them. In an instant, he saw her take in Seth's wet, naked form in his arms, the bloody gouges on his chest, the blood on their mouths and, Jasper was sure, the red of his eyes. The tray of cookies fell from her hands, clattering to the floor. For a moment, the cheerful pink cookies was all Jasper could see. The mockery of them as they broke on the floor.

Like his life had broken when he had found Seth's body.

"Jasper." She breathed, staring at Seth's corpse. She stepped forward, heedless of the cookies covering the floor.

Fighting the tremors that shook him, Jasper drew Seth's body closer to him. He could feel Seth's flesh give under his fingers, could feel the blood weeping from their broken vessels and pool in bruises. "Carlisle." He gasped. "Where is he?"

With fluttering fingers, Esme touched Jasper's cheek. He drew away. He didn't deserve the comfort of her reassurance now. Maybe never again. Blinking large, golden eyes, Esme turned, shouting for Carlisle.

Carlisle appeared from the hallway that led to his study. He took one look at the werewolf in Jasper's arms and was at his side in a moment.

Jasper saw the flare of disappointment in his eyes. Choked as he was with grief, it still made him sick. It always made him sick when he saw their disappointment whenever he let the hunger control him. The way Esme turned her face away from him, the way Carlisle told it would get easier, the disdain that burnt in Rosalie's eyes. Worse, the way Alice would assure him that everything was okay, that it would all be okay.

It wasn't all going to be okay.

"What happened?" Carlisle asked, his voice clinical. He tilted Seth's chin to get a better look at the bite on his neck.

"He was bleeding." Jasper said, trying to force himself to loosen his grip on Seth. "And..." He tried to remember, tried to rip memories from the predatory part of his mind. It was a blur. Blood and sand and salt.

Carlisle moved his examination from Seth's throat to the wounds on his chest. "These aren't yours." He sounded surprised. It made guilt burn in Jasper's throat, worse than even his desire for blood.

Trying to remember, Jasper nodded. "They were... they were bleeding."

Esme pressed closer, careful to keep out of Carlisle's way. "Are those?" Her voice trembled as she traced one delicate finger beside the outer wound.

"Werewolf. Yes." Carlisle didn't look away from Seth's damaged chest. "Where did you find him?"

"On the other side of the border." Jasper said, hating the words even as he spoke them.

Esme frowned, drawing her hand back. "It won't matter if those wounds were inflicted by a werewolf." For a moment, her eyes flicked to the bite Jasper had left on Seth's neck. She continued on, her voice somber. "They'll attack us just for breaking the treaty."

"We'll find a way to deal with it." Carlisle's voice was clipped, his fingers pushing down on Seth's chest. "The blow broke his ribcage," he murmured, almost to himself. He frowned, brows pulling together as he pressed harder on Seth's skin.

"What," Jasper rasped. "What is it?"

"Honey?" Esme asked when Carlisle didn't respond.

"There's a pulse." Carlisle pressed closer, fingers moving to rest on Seth's neck.

A pulse? If his own heart had still been beating, Jasper was sure it would have missed a beat. Seth was still alive? Even with a broken chest and venom swimming in his blood, the boy was still alive? He pulled him closer, fingers grasping at Seth's skin as if he could hold life to his body.

"He's alive?" Esme's voice wavered. Jasper wasn't sure if she was happy, or if she was terrified. He wasn't sure what he felt himself. Was that happieness or fear making him feel as though he might throw up again?

Carlisle ignored her. "Jasper, my office. Now."

...

While Carlisle had wrapped Seth's broken body in bandages, Jasper had clung to his hand. After Carlisle had finished with him, they laid Seth out on a cot in his office. Now, as Seth lay unconscious, he was still hanging onto his hand. His long fingers were threaded through Seth's, willing the colour to come back to the ashen skin. He wasn't sure who he was trying to console anymore. The werewolf boy? Or himself?

Dim light was offered by one lamp left burning on the desk, but Jasper didn't need it to see the bandages hugging Seth's chest. At least its light diffused the blood staining the bandage. It was a weak comfort, but Jasper took it. At this point, he would have taken anything.

Carlisle came and went, changing bandages and checking on Seth's pulse. Every time he left, the lines on his face had etched themselves deeper. When Jasper cared to listen, he could hear his and Emse's conversation outside the room.

Esme's low murmur of concern came through the walls easily. "The treaty Carlisle. Sam won't care that Seth is no longer one of his pack. He was on La Push territory."

The hoarse whisper that was Carlisle's response was harder to hear, but Jasper made it out. "That may not be of concern."

He quit listening. He didn't care what the others had to say. He had nearly killed Seth Clearwater. Werewolf or not, he was human. If his blood hadn't disagreed with his body, he would have drained the boy. What did it matter if the werewolves came to tear him apart?

What did anything matter anymore?

The scream tore him from his thoughts.

On the cot, Seth convulsed, his back arching as screams ripped from him. Dragged from bruised lungs past broken bones, the screams were the worse thing that Jasper had ever heard. They were nothing compared to the screams of his victims, or even the screams he had made when Maria had turned him. The screams bit into him with the teeth of vampire, tore him apart like a wild dog as if they were trying to rip whatever remained of his soul from his body.

He was up in an instant, hands hovering over Seth. The boy convulsed, bones cracking with his frantic movements. Every time a bone broke, the boy's screams reached a new pitch. In a moment, Jasper doubted he'd be able to hear them at all. What the hell was driving the boy to this? The venom? A reaction to the venom?

Was he dying now? Had Jasper just prolonged the inevitable by injecting him with his venom? Had he just drawn out the boy's suffering, to end it with this now? Was even now, Seth's inner wolf tearing apart the venom, or was it the other way around? Didn't matter. It was killing him.

Seth was dying again.

And Jasper didn't know how to save him.

He wasn't sure whether to push Seth to the bed, or let him thrash. If he held the thrashing werewolf down, he could just as easily snap his spine as save him. His mind raced. Could Carlisle save his spine? Did it matter? Would the venom save the bones he was breaking now? Better paralysed then dead? Better dead then paralysed?

Esme decided for him. Her slight hands pushed down on Seth's shoulders, firm but gentle. Her mouth pressed into a thin, tight line, she drove him back to the cot, though his legs still flailed, hips convulsing.

"Hold his legs." Carlisle ordered, appearing with a needle. Following his orders, Jasper grasped Seth's legs through the sheet that covered him. The boy's thigh muscles twitched under his hands, his spine arching. His screams ripped through Jasper, till he wanted to smother them by any means possible.

This was all his fault.

Carlisle slipped the needle beneath the skin of Seth's arm. Jasper waited for the peace the drugs would bring, his heart in his throat. Seth continued to thrash against his hands.

"Hush, hush, baby," Esme soothed, her face not at all matching the calmness of her words. "Sleep now." She looked up at Carlisle, panic in her eyes.

Forcing himself not to clench his hands and rip out portions of Seth's thighs, Jasper dragged in a breath, trying to calm himself. "It's not working. Why isn't it working?" He demanded, voice sharper then he had intended it to be.

Carlisle returned with another needle. Holding Seth's arm, and ignoring his hoarse screams, he plunged the contents of the needle into Seth's vein. After a moment, Seth's scream faltered, then changed into a series of whimpers. His eyelids fluttered, coming down over his unseeing eyes. His body eased, reclining into the bed.

Hesitantly, Esme lifted her hands from his shoulder's. He stayed down, the muscles in his face relaxing. After another long moment of silence, Jasper released his hold on Seth's thighs, reaching instinctively for the boy's hand. His fault or not, right now, he was all the boy had to comfort him. Not, he knew, that he could be much comfort. He was the killer, after all. The one who had let the animal inside him take over and put the boy through this kind of pain for just a bit of blood.

"Why didn't the morphine work?" He asked, pushing his voice around the lump in his throat.

Carlisle frowned, running a hand through his hair. "Seth's body burns off morphine quickly. And with the venom... We'll have to set a drip." he murmured, almost to himself. "He'll burn morphine off faster than Jacob's did."

Unconscious once again, Seth's face showed none of what had just happened. Jasper watched him, looking for any signs of discomfort. At his back, he could hear Carlisle moving about to set up the morphine. Esme was still at Seth's head, wiping a lock of jet black hair from his sweaty face. Seeing Jasper's eyes upon her, she gave him a forced smile.

"It will be okay." She told him. "You'll see."

He could hear the falseness in her words. See it in the way her hand shook. He didn't answer her, just went back to watching Seth. She knew the truth. This was his fault. It was all his fault.

He heard her move to where Carlisle was preparing the needle. "Carlisle?" she asked. "Have you ever seen a werewolf infected with venom?" Her voice was quiet, and obviously not meant for Jasper, but he listened anyway.

Carlisle was quiet for a long time. "Yes." Jasper could hear the finality in the word. He didn't need to ask to know the fate of the creature. "But Seth is a shape shifter. Not a true werewolf."

Jasper didn't take his gaze away from Seth. He knew his family well enough to guess at their expressions. Carlisle's quiet defeat. Esme's pain. Their mutual disappointment in him. Instead, he watched Seth, looking for the slightest sign of discomfort. "He's turning into a vampire, isn't he?"

The question hung in the air.

...

The world was darkness and pain.

It rose and fell like the tide.

Sometimes, Seth thought he saw light. And with it, the pain eased. It glimmered in his peripheral, but when he turned to find it, it was gone.

And then the darkness and pain consumed him once again.


	3. Like The Ocean In The Storm

Language Warning. For this chapter, and the rest.

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Leah Clearwater hated most things. She hated bloodsuckers, she hated werewolves, and she hated the wolf genetics playing havoc in her body. She hated alphas and she hated imprints. She hated Sam, she hated Jake, and she was beginning to hate Seth.

She barged through the front door, the screen door ricocheting back against its hinges. Sue looked up, her ever-present frown and the stress lines in her forehead etching themselves deeper as she took in her naked daughter. Leah had resumed her human form only while bounding up the steps of the porch.

"You didn't find him." She said softly, stepping back from doing the dishes. Soft plops punctuated the silence as soap bubbles dripped onto the floor as her mother sank into a chair. Leah thought that even if the chair hadn't been there, her mother would have continued down to the floor with the same distant, lost look in her eyes.

The same one that had been there for weeks after her father's funeral.

Sucking her lower lip in between her teeth, Leah pulled on the emergency clothes they left in the kitchen for times like this. It wasn't like Seth to disappear like this. After their father's death, he wouldn't stay out all night. She swallowed hard, feeling the same drowning sensation she had felt for months after her father's death.

Besides, she thought, adjusting her bra strap, who in the bloody world would he be hanging out with? After the packs had separated, none of the guys or girls on the reservation would give any of them the time of day, let alone hours of their night. And her brother wasn't friends with anyone in Forks.

"I'm going to call Jake again." She said, lifting the phone from its cradle. She had already called him when Seth hadn't been home for supper, and she doubted he knew more now then he did then. She was grasping at straws. But it was all she had.

Her mother didn't respond, and with a heavy heart, she dialed. Jake picked up after a couple of rings. "Hello?" Though it was nearly noon, he sounded like she had woken him. The benefits of summer break, she thought bitterly. Of course, those benefits only went to those without families to keep from falling apart.

"Hey," She said, sweeping leaves and twigs from her hair.

"Leah?" His voice was low, rasping against her ear.

"Yeah." Suddenly, she felt awkward. With the pack's telepathic link, she didn't need to call Jacob much. She cleared her throat, trying to keep any hint of panic from her voice. The image of her brother, bleeding out with some vampire's teeth in his skin swam in her vision. "Have you seen Seth?"

For a moment, the line was silent except for the hiss of static. She pictured Jacob sitting on the edge of his bed, naked and hair tousled from sleep as he examined her words. She shook the image from her head. That was the problem with the pack's link. Knowing things like the fact that Jacob slept naked.

When he spoke, she knew that he hadn't done enough to hide her panic. "He didn't come home last night." It wasn't a question.

"No. And he would have told me if he was going out." Pinning the phone to her ear with her shoulder, she pulled open the junk drawer. She scanned the contents for a hair elastic. Screwdriver. Electrical tape. Her father's fishing lure. She slammed the drawer shut and blinked tears from her eyes. With a quick glance at her mother, she lowered her voice to a whisper. "Jake."

Jake heaved in a breath, and then blew it out for a long moment. "Your mother's there, isn't she?" She made a vague sound of agreement. "And you don't want to scare her."

At least, hidden among all of Jake's flaws, he was able to read her without her needing to spell things out. Something her last alpha had never been able to do. "Yeah." She said, trying to keep her voice upbeat.

There was another moment of silence before Jake spoke again. "You tried the wolf link, right?"

Leah nodded, though she knew he couldn't see her. "Of course."

"He's not just hanging out with somebody?"

She bit back a bitter laugh, even though he sounded like he was grasping at straws too. "What friends? After he followed you..." There was no need to finish. Jacob knew. After Jake had decided to claim his birthright from Sam, Seth and Leah had followed and severed not only their link to the pack but any friendships they might have had.

Something on Jake's end of the phone line rustled, and the connection crackled. "Right." He whispered, and even without having his voice in her head, she could see the damned lost look in his eyes. Like a fucking lost puppy. "Do you think maybe he's hurt?"

She shrugged. "I don't know what I think."

"You don't think Sam would... do you?"

Ever since the werewolf genetics had taken over him, Sam was a different man. Leah would never put voice to the thought, but she was glad that he had imprinted on someone besides her. She could see the scars on Emily's face, and then superimposed them on her own face. Her hand gripped the slender body of the phone so hard her knuckles went white. "I don't know." She hated the tears she could hear in her voice.

"Seth – and you – betrayed him. Left his pack." He heaved in a breath, and she could picture him, standing now, pacing back and forth. Probably dragging his fingers through his hair in that way he had. "And hurting Seth would hurt you a lot more than just hurting you would."

Swallowing past her lump in her throat, Leah nodded. "Yeah."

"Leah, you're not safe."

She put some laughter into her voice for her mother's sake. "I can take care of myself."

Something hit something hard on the other end of the line. "You shouldn't have to."

"Leah?" Her mother's quavering voice was held a note of fear. Leah spun to look at her. With wide eyes, Sue was staring out the window.

Leah followed her gaze. Her mouth parted in silent shock. "Jake? Imma have to call you back."

…

The summer's heat burnt unnoticed into Leah's bare shoulders. All she could feel was the weight of Esme's long dead eyes boring into her.

"You're not allowed here." Leah called, stopping several yards away. She could the telephone in the house ringing insistently. No doubt Jake would rip her apart for hanging up on him like that. If she survived long enough to have the argument.

The vampire stood in front of her car, heels sinking into the grass, her usually perfect hair mussed, and something that looked suspiciously like blood sprinkled over her sleeves. She had never seen Esme look like this before. Normally the blood sucking parasite was a maternal Barbie doll. Not a reflection of her true state of a murder.

Esme's pale hands were turning over and over each other, as if she could wash away the echoes of blood. "Leah, I need to talk to you and your mother."

"You stay away from my mother." She snarled, feeling the wolf rippling under her skin, howling to be let out. To kill, to destroy.

"Leah please." Esme stepped towards her. Leah crossed her arms over her chest and regarded her with cold eyes. "I wouldn't break the treaty if this wasn't important."

Seth. Leah felt her heart skip a beat. What if it was Seth?

Don't be stupid, she told herself. What news could a vampire bring of her brother? Vampires were nothing but portents of death and doom. And if they had done anything with her brother, Esme wouldn't be standing here.

Esme continued, her voice barely loud enough for Leah to hear, even with her supernatural ability. "Jasper was out hunting yesterday."

"Leah?" Sue Clearwater's voice rang out into the yard; Leah turned, cursing under her breath. Her mother's face was pale beneath her brown skin. "What's going on?"

Leah turned back to Esme. If the vampire upset her mother, she didn't care, she would shift right here and now, and tear the bloodsucking bitch apart. If Esme was the bearer of bad news, she wasn't sure her mother could survive it.

Some of that must have reflected in her face. Esme smiled reassuringly at her mother. "Nothing to worry about Mrs. Clearwater. Leah and I just needed to talk about the treaty now that Jacob has separated from the pack."

"Oh." Sue said. Her confused gaze shifted from the vampire to her daughter. "Are you sure?"

Leah nodded. Esme may be a bloodsucking machine, but she was also a brilliant liar. "It's fine mom. We just need to talk for a minute." Hopefully, her lie was half as good. Her mother seemed to believe it, for she retreated back inside. Returning her gaze to Esme, she crossed her arms over her chest. "Jasper did what?" She demanded, her voice glacial in the summer's heat.

"Jasper found your brother yesterday. He had been badly hurt."

Icy fingers closed around Leah's heart and throat. For a moment, the only sound she could make was a low whine of pain. She was drowning. She could feel it. Feel the water, the pain, the desperation, slipping into her lungs, forcing the oxygen and the sanity from her body.

Jasper had the weakest hold on his hunger of all the Cullens. If he had come across Seth, broken and bleeding... He would have drained every drop of blood from his body.

Pushing her wolf down, she strode forward till she was nose to nose with the vampire. As much as she wanted to rip the bitch apart, she had to wait. Once the need for English was out of the way, she could murder her to her heart's content.

"What did that fucking bastard do to my brother?"

Esme's hands fluttered, as if she had been about to touch Leah with them. Instead, she pressed them to her own lips. "Leah, your brother is alive. But he's in bad shape. Let me take you to him."

Leah bit her lip and tasted blood. Here she was, a vampire asking to help her. As much as she wanted to tear the leech into a thousand different pieces and light them all individually on fire, as much as she wanted to shatter the bones insider her delicate fingers, and as much as she wanted to pull every venom carrying fang from the monster's mouth, she wanted her brother more.

She wanted him as much as she wanted to erase the past two years.

Trapped in the car, all she could breathe in was the overwhelming, sickly sweet scent of vampire. At least it was better than rotting blood. Powering down her window, she dragged in a breath of fresh air.

"What did Jasper do to my brother?" she asked, flicking a glance at Esme.

Esme's hands tightened on the steering wheel, white blooming on her knuckles. "He found your brother on the beach. I won't lie to you Leah." Taking her eyes from the road, Esme looked at her. "He drank from him, but the blood of shifters... It woke him up, if you will. He didn't kill him."

Watching the trees stream past, Leah thought she could smell the faint scent of blood in the wind. A vampire had bitten her brother. Her brother had vampire venom in him. "What will happen?" Her fingers found her knees, and she clung to them as if they could save her from drowning. Already she could feel the water pushing over her lips.

The same water that had swept over her when she had killed her father.

"Because of the vampire venom, you mean?" Esme asked, making a sharp turn that pushed Leah against the door. "I don't know. Carlisle doesn't know either. He's never seen a shifter infected with vampire venom."

Infected, Leah though vaguely in some corner of her mind. The rest of it was too busy trying to figure out which would win in a showdown between wolf genetics and vampire venom. "So he could die?" She asked, her voice soft.

Because she had shifted in front of her father, he had died of a heart attack. And because she had shifted, her brother had shifted early. She was the reason that he had been brought into this hellish war between wolves and vampires. If he died, it would be her fault. She would have killed her father, and her brother. Maybe Sam had been right to hate her.

Esme broke her from her thoughts. "Leah..." she said, then stopped, as if searching for words. There was something about the way that her mouth set that made Leah wonder if she had changed her mind entirely on speaking. Leah wanted to fling herself from the car. "Know this," Esme said finally. "No matter what happens, your brother has the protection of the Cullens."

She was beginning to wonder if that would be enough to save him from her.


	4. Paper Cuts In The Coldest Spots

The curtains were drawn on the room, but it was brightly lit. Jasper sat hunched beside Seth, his honey blonde hair hiding his face. She stepped forward, and Jasper raised his head. His eyes were scarlet.

"Easy, Jasper." Carlisle said.

Clenching her hands into fists, Leah crossed to her brother. Once she was sure he was safe, she would tear the throat from the vampire. Seth's face was pale beneath his russet skin. A blanket was pulled over his shoulders, but she could still see the bite mark on his throat. His skin was cold as she laid her fingers on his cheek. He looked dead. Fucking dead. If it wasn't for the ragged breaths slipping past his lips, she would have thought he was.

"Seth?" Her voice broke, and she could feel wetness on her cheeks.

A moan was her only response.

"He can't respond." Carlisle said, his voice soft. "I'm not even sure if he can hear you."

She had to stifle a sob. Seth was all they had left. And because of her, he might die. She glanced up at Jasper. His face was drawn tight, tension stringing his shoulders tight as a bow-string. As if he could feel her gaze on him, he finally ripped his eyes away from Seth.

"You fucking bloody bastard. What the fuck did you do to him?" She snarled, feeling the wolf raise its metaphorical hackles within her.

Carlisle set a hand on Jasper's shoulder, and Jasper's lips drew back in a silent growl. "If Jasper hadn't found your brother, he would have died."

She looked back at Seth. She had to control herself. For his sake. Once he was safe, she would destroy the leech. She would raze the house to the ground, tear apart every god-damned cell within him. But that was for after she saved Seth. "What the hell happened to him?"

Pale fingers grasped the blanket covering him, and pulled it back with clinical care. With Esme's help, Carlisle unpeeled the bandage around his chest. As the blood soaked bandage came off, Leah sucked in a breath between her teeth, and hovered her palm over the trail of wounds. If she had lowered her hand, her long fingers would have fit directly into the ruined flesh.

"These... these are..."

Jasper's voice was as bitter as if his venom had slipped into his words. "Werewolf wounds."

Werewolf.

_Werewolf_.

For a long, long time, Leah's brain refused to processes the information. Synapses refused to fire, and all she could hear was the roaring of her blood, and the cold, pressing silence of the room. She was staring into the abyss, and the abyss was destroying her.

For all she and Jake had wondered a loud if Sam possessed the hatred to hurt her brother, for all the thought that he did had made her sick, she had never truly expected to see the wolf claw marks that split her brother from clavicle to hip.

"Sam," she whispered, voice catching in her throat. She could feel the wolf under her skin regain its footing, reaching to tear and destroy. Another part of her wanted to fling herself into the nearest set of welcoming arms, be they human, or wolf, or even leech. The man she had once loved had nearly murdered her baby brother. And even if he hadn't been the one to deliver the deathblow, he had to know. With the exception of her and Jacob, all the other wolves were still linked to Sam.

They all knew.

And she was going to kill them all.

Carlisle's voice broke her from her murderous thoughts. "You think Sam could have done this?"

She turned to him, keeping her fingers locked with Seth's. They were tense, and she worried they might hurt him, but right now, his touch was the only thing keeping her grounded. "If Sam didn't, one of the others did."

"With Sam's knowledge and consent." Esme added, her lips a tight line. Her hands were clenched on Jasper's shoulders, Jasper still sat in the only chair in the room, his bloody eyes staring past her at her brother.

Red with her brother's blood. The thought made Leah's stomach roil like the churning sea. She nodded briskly, turning back before the wolf broke free. She smoothed hair from her brother's face. He looked so peaceful lying there, nothing like the brother she knew. His face was slack, with none of the twist of expressions that normally accompanied his sleep. Seth was always tossing and turning, murmuring half-formed words in his sleep. Her brother looked dead lying there.

For a moment, regret joined the rest of the pain and anger within her. If she had sucked it up, and stayed with Sam, kept his voice in her head for the rest of her days, maybe this wouldn't have happened. She could have convinced Seth to come back, not to follow Jacob off on some half-cocked irrational plan. She could have talked Sam down, told him Seth was a kid that had changed too early. He couldn't be expected to act rational. She could have forced Sam to see reason.

But she hadn't, and she knew in her heart there was no way she could have.

"If Sam... or whomever it was," Carlisle started, "tried to kill him once, there's a chance that they may try to attack him here."

It took every scrap of control that Leah had not to wolf out then and there.

"Let them try." Jasper's voice was rough; a dangerous growl better suited to a wolf than a sleek, elegant killer.

Leah looked at him sharply. She hadn't been expecting that. It was strange how hearing that note in her own voice for so long made her so sensitive to it in others. That note that someone else may have registered as possession, but that she knew was an attempt to appease guilt with protection. Guilt and something else...

Self-loathing.

She knew it all too well.

"He's right. Sam's pack is no threat to us with Jacob's help." One of Esme's hand left Jasper's shoulder to tuck a strand of hair behind an ear. "He'll be safe here, Leah."

She wanted to argue, but she knew Esme was right. Where else could she take him? Home? Sue wouldn't be able to protect him. She would just get her mother killed. To Jacob's? Even with her there, Sam's pack would tear them to shreds. Besides, she was only delivering them straight to Sam. Where else was there? A hospital? They'd kill Seth just as surely as they tried to deal with the unknown venom.

"Right now, I'm afraid that Seth's greatest danger is still his wounds." Carlisle said, voice somber. He came forward and set his fingers beside Seth's wounds. "Infection's setting in. Though not as fast as I would have thought." He squatted back on his heels. "Leah, you should call your mother. Once infection sets in, some patients go downhill quickly. Esme will show you the phone in the kitchen."

"I'm not leaving him."

"Leah." Carlisle said, fixing her with his too-gold stare. "I would prefer if you left the room. Now that his bandages have been removed, I need to clean his wounds. At the rate that his genetics and the venom are burning off the morphine, it won't be a pleasant procedure."

Didn't they get it? This was her baby brother. There was no way in hell that she was leaving his side to spare herself some agony. She had lived through it before, and she would live through it again.

"No."

Carlisle looked like he was about to argue, and Leah squared her shoulders. These vampires may not know it yet, but she gave just as good as she got. A sudden sense of cold wind at her shoulders made her turn back.

Esme was holding out her cellphone, a touch-screen dial-pad on the glowing at her. "You better make your call quickly, Leah, before Carlisle starts. Tell your mother if she wishes for a ride or protection, or if you think she may be to distraught to drive safely, that I will come and get her."

For a moment, Leah hesitated. A quick look around the room convinced her that none of the vampires harboured any intention of leaving. As much as she didn't want to leave Seth's side, she also didn't want these vampire's privy to the conversation where she revealed to her mother that Seth was in danger of dying.

With shaking fingers she dialled home. There was only one call she could imagine that would be worse, and she knew she might only be avoiding that call by a few hours. Her mother picked up before the first ring had even ended. "Hello?"

"Mom. I found him." Leah said, and was instantly ashamed of the tremor that went through her voice.

"Oh thank God." Her mother breathed, and Leah could see the lost look in her eyes disappearing. She could hear it in her voice, a sense of the woman she had been before Leah's latent genes had quite literally exploded. "Where is he? How is he?"

"He's alive Mom. But he's hurt." Again she smoothed the hair from Seth's face, refusing to look down at the wounds stretched across him. "He's hurt real bad."

Her mother gave a broken sob.

Leah could see Esme close her eyes as if pained, and she realized that with their hearing, the Cullen's were listening to both sides of the conversation. Sue's breathing was rushed and hard, and she knew that her mother was getting lost in the past. That brief moment when Leah had thought she had wiped the pain and grief from her mother was lost. "Mom, Esme Cullen is going to come and get you, okay?" She asked softly, feeling more like a parent then a daughter. "I want you to stay there until she comes."

For a moment Leah didn't think her mother would answer. Then, finally, she whispered her assent. "Okay. Are you sure you're safe there? You don't want me to get Jacob, or Sa-"

"No." Leah's voice slammed down over her mother's. Jacob here would be bad enough. But Sam would be a disaster. She tried a softer approach, already feeling guilty for shouting. "It's fine Mom. Just let me deal with the packs."

"If... If you're sure. I love you, honey."

"I know Mom. I love you too."

Leah hung up the phone, and handed it back to Esme. Esme gave her a small, sad smile. "You did well, Leah. We'll be back shortly." With a blur, she was out of the room.

"I do think it would be best if you were to leave." Carlisle said, as he began to gather materials. Leah didn't recognize most of them, but the bleach-like scent of them made her think of hospital hallways and death.

"No." She said, her voice tight.

Carlisle spared her a glance, and then turned back to his supplies. "If you're sure."

"Yes." Leah said, tightening her grip on her brother's hand. She was certain. Painful or not, she wasn't going to leave him.

...

As he sat, caught under Esme's hands, Jasper had the chance to study Leah Clearwater. Though he didn't know either of the Clearwater siblings well, they seemed to be a study in contrast. From the few times he had seen Seth, there had been an optimism about him, though the edges of that had seemed to darken as time went on. Leah though, was a tangled mess of emotions, and it was making his stomach turn, if in a metaphorical sense rather than a literal.

Leah Clearwater was hate and anger, pain and grief, blame and self-loathing. She may be a study in contrast with her brother, but she was painted in the same blue-black and blood-red hues of himself.

Carlisle situated himself at Seth's side, bringing along a tray filled with gauze and other instruments. "Jasper, I'm going to need you to hold down his legs again. I don't know how much the morphine will dull the pain."

Hanging to her brother's hand, Leah looked up. "Can't you give him a sedative or something?"

Carlisle ran a gloved hand through his hair, and then, scowling, peeled it from his hand. "No," he said, looking down as he did. "I don't want to risk a sedative. The venom already acts as one on some level, and to add anything more potent than morphine to this... to this cocktail of wolf genetics, venom, and morphine would be to risk putting him in a coma." He looked up, his voice growing even softer. "I don't know if I could revive him if that were to happen."

Pain flared in the girl's eyes. Clenching her jaw, she nodded.

"Jasper?" Carlisle prompted.

Closing his hand's around Seth's thighs, he tilted his gaze down, anything to keep them from Carlisle and Leah. His hand's, calloused from years of a rough life, were nearly as white as the sheet covering the werewolf's legs. They hadn't been that way in life. In life, they'd been tanned nearly to the same colour as Leah and Seth from the Texan sun.

Yet even in life, they had been blood covered.

Carlisle's first swipe at the wound brought a pained moan, while the next started the screaming. Gritting his teeth – fangs, Jasper kept the boy down while he bucked. Nearly instantaneously, Leah left her brother's side and gripped his shoulders. With the way the boy moved, Jasper was surprised he didn't break his spine.

Cautious of the weight and grip he had on the boy, Jasper held on. One wrong flex of a finger, and he would tear through his flesh like it was paper. He couldn't hurt the boy any more than he already had. With every mistake he made, with every drop of blood he drew, he would send the pain back to himself seven-fold. Seth was an innocent bearing Jasper's personal Mark of Cain.

With vampire speed, Carlisle finished quickly. The five long scratches had been sterilized, the sand and sea salt cleaned away. A while later, Seth settled, the pain on his face slowly disappearing as the morphine took hold.

Leah knelt, burying her face in the curve of Seth's shoulder. Opposite, Jasper was relieved, of where his bite mark stood out, red and angry on the boy's copper skin. Pain rolled off Leah as her shoulders shook with silent sobs. It blotted out everything. No anger, no hatred, none of the aged grief she wore.

Just pain and the burning chemical taste of self-loathing.

Jasper didn't take his hands from Seth's thighs. It felt like somehow, he could channel his own strength into the boy if he touched him. Some karmic, chi, life force thing. In normal times, the thought wouldn't have crossed his mind. But now was not normal times, and the boy could have anything Jasper had, even if it cost him his life.

Carlisle was saying something to him.

"What?" Jasper asked, shaking his head as if it would dislodge him of his dark thoughts.

The man's voice was quiet, as he bent beside him. "I need you to leave."

Jasper blinked at him. Surely he wasn't hearing him right. "What?"

"Sue Clearwater is coming here, and after you drank from Seth, you won't be able to control yourself around a human."

"But..." Jasper scrambled for an answer. He couldn't leave Seth, just walk off like nothing was wrong. Everything was wrong. The wolves could come while he was gone. The venom could kill him. So many things could happen, and Jasper wasn't about to leave the boy to face them on his own. If Seth died, Jasper would be damned a thousand times over.

"I know you're struggling with being responsible. But right now, to protect him, you have to protect the ones he loves from yourself." Carlisle's voice was soft, but there was a note in it that spoke of finality. Jasper could nearly taste the disappointment in him. It burnt at him. "And you had better go soon, because your mother drives like a woman possessed."

Jasper nodded, though every instinct screamed for him to stay. In some ways he was glad he was being forced away. He wasn't sure if he could stand another minute of Leah's blame and Carlisle's disappointment.

Carlisle smiled. "Don't anything stupid like going after Sam. Call Alice. She won't be able to see us with Seth and Leah here. Assure her nothing is wrong. "

He nodded again. Alice was smart. Alice could help him through this. She got him like no one else did. Watching the Clearwater siblings, he forced himself to remove his hands. Leah had settled, and was murmuring things to her brother while he slept on, the last threads of pain noticeable in the way his lips twisted and his forehead creased.

"It's okay." Carlisle said, this time loud enough for Leah to hear. She glanced up at them, before turning back to her brother. "Esme will find you if anything happens."

Jasper nodded, and tearing his gaze from the siblings, fled, choking on disappointment and hatred.

...

One moment the blond western leech was there when she looked up, the next, there was just vacant space beside Carlisle. "Where did he..." she started glancing around.

"It wouldn't be good for him to be here while your mother is." Carlisle said, stripping off his bloodstained gloves. Her brother's blood seemed to be everywhere. Dripping from wounds, festering in his neck, staining the leech's eyes and covering the discarded gloves. "I think," Carlisle continued, "that it would be good for Jasper to get some air. You are aware of his ability?"

"He can fuck with people's emotions."

Carlisle sighed, though she wasn't sure if it was from the subject at hand, the bitterness in her voice, or her choice of word. "That's true, though he tries not to. Beyond that, he feels them. He told me once that they were like waves on a shore. Sometimes, they're just a gentle pull around his ankles, and sometimes they're the waves of a hurricane, desperate and drowning."

Leah watched as Carlisle changed the morphine drip, and re-secured the IV in her brother's arm. All the wolves had known of Jasper's ability to mess with emotions, but they hadn't known that he could feel everything they were feeling. It was a strange mixture of feeling violated and feeling pity. She knew what it was like to have other people's thoughts in her head, knew what it was like to wake up from dreaming of tonsil-hockey because of some one else thoughts. She couldn't imagine feeling every persons emotions. No wonder the bloodsucker always wore such a pained expression.

"Can't he just..." she waved her hand as she searched for words. "Turn it off?"

"No." Carlisle said, and then cocked his head as if he heard something. "Your mother will be here soon." Even with wolf hearing, she heard nothing but the sound of birds and wind.

...

Sue did what Leah had expected. She cried, asked questions of the doctor, and cried some more. As Sue brushed at Seth's sweat-matted and bloody hair, and Carlisle talked to her in his soothing way, Leah caught Esme's eye. Less than three hours ago, she would have thought someone was mad if they had suggested she would leave her mother alone with one of the Cullen's. Now, she was suggesting it.

In the hallway, Leah slumped against the wall. She had never felt so tired in her life. Even in the weeks following her father's death, the brand-new wolf inside her had kept her awake. Alive. Now, even it seemed to week to push onwards. Esme watched her with pity. Or maybe empathy. Maybe before her father's death, Leah would have been able to tell the difference.

"Your mother has been through a lot." Esme said quietly.

"Yeah." What could Esme understand about it? She'd never lost her husband because her own daughter had given him a heart attack. Her fucking family was made of cold stone and immortality.

"It has to be hard on her, worrying about you and your brother."

Leah could hear the next part, though Esme didn't put voice to it. _Especially since your father's dead. Since you killed your father._

"What was it you wanted to talk about, Leah?"

She blinked back tears. She wasn't even sure why she felt the need to do this. Why she cared what the fuck anyone thought. But this was her mother, and she couldn't stand the thought of anyone seeing her as weak, or crazy.

The wall was the only thing holding her up any more. "I just... I just want you to know, that this isn't who she is. It's just, since Dad... but she's not some crazy-"

Esme held up a hand, effectively shutting her up. "Just because your mother is suffering from depression, I don't think she's crazy. Your mother needs some help, but it's no different from you needing antibiotics for an ear infection." Esme stepped closer, and though she didn't touch her, Leah felt that if she had been willing, Esme would have held her like a child. "I know you may not care, but you have to understand, that I'm proud of your family. You've done this on your own for so long, and you've persevered far better than I ever did."

Leah thunked her head against the wall, trying to think of a way to respond to that. The voices from the other room were elevator music as she considered.

Carlisle's soft, "I'm afraid we won't know for a while, Mrs. Clearwater."

Her mother's tear-stricken voice, "Oh. I see."

The weak, bleary voice that asked, "Mom?"

_Seth_.

Her heart beating wildly in her chest, Leah pushed herself from the wall and back into the room. Esme followed at her heels. Sue and Carlisle hovered over Seth. She shoved past them, flinging herself to her knees at Seth's bedside.

His unfocused gaze landed on her. She stared at his eyes, looking for the stain of red the venom should have placed over them. She couldn't tell. His eyes were too dark to see any addition to them. "Seth?" she whispered, scared of what his answer would be.

"Leah?"

Relief rushed into her, and she wanted to flop backwards into her mother's arms. "Hey, hey," she gasped, trying to fight back tears. She had to stay strong. "How are you feeling?"

He shut his eyes, lips pulling to one side as he groaned. "Crappy."

At least his answer hadn't been hungry. She laughed, pressing a hand to her mouth to stop the quiver of her lips. "That's wonderful."

One eye slitted open as Seth groaned at her. "You were always mean to me." He shut his eyes as he shivered. "What happened?"

She froze, hand to her lips. She had never thought that Seth wouldn't remember. She'd presumed that once he awoke – if he ever awoke – he'd be able to tell them straight away who had left him dying. Assure them that it had been Sam, so she could tear the fucker's head off with not a single dash of doubt.

Never had it crossed her mind that he might not remember.

"Seth, you were found on the beach after being attacked." Carlisle said.

Leah turned to look at him and nearly missed the violent shudder that went through Seth at the sound of the vampire's voice.

Seth's eyes bore into hers. "By a vampire." he hissed desperately. His finger's scrabbled until he caught Sue's arm in a weak grip, as if he could somehow protect her.

Seth was staring at her like she was insane for not moving. Like she was betraying him. Leah wanted to say no, that it hadn't been a vampire, if only to wipe the fear from Seth's face, but she couldn't force herself to. No matter how kind Esme may have acted, and no matter how well Carlisle had treated Seth, it had still been their fucking red-eyed monster that had bitten him.

Introduced venom into his already dying system.

"No, Seth." Carlisle started in his soothing trust-me-I'm-a-doctor voice. She knew it all too well. The doctor that had sewn up Emily's face had used the same voice. The same horrific accident survivor tone.

"Yes." Seth stressed, but his eyelids were beginning to flutter. The morphine was doing its job of pushing him under.

Sue leaned forward, running her hand down Seth's cheek. "No, no, baby. It was all just a bad dream." She crooned as if he was still a child. A tear slid from underneath Seth's closed eyelid. She wiped it away.

"Go back to sleep Seth. It will be alright." Carlisle agreed, stepping away. "We can talk after you sleep."

Seth's eyes twitched beneath his lids. "No." It was a small sound, just caught by Leah's improved hearing. She doubted her mother heard it at all.

Her brother had been attacked by a vampire, and she was forcing him to stay within the viper's nest.

...

Deep in the forest, Jasper stopped running. He stood in the fringes of civilization, barely within cell service. Wasn't that the perfect metaphor made real for him? He was a monster, a killer disguised within society. Not human, and yet, not fully a monster.

Alice was first on his speed-dial. She picked up instantly, her usually happy voice sounding strained. "Jasper."

"I don't know what I'm doing." He said in lieu of greeting. Above him, the sky was tinted with reds and purples. He watched wave after wave of blood soak into the clouds as the sun set.

"What's going on? All of a sudden it just went dark." He could picture her, golden eyes bright with anxiety. Now that she was aware he was alive, and he hadn't started screaming that someone was dead, she would have settled into the sheets and comforters on their bed, probably curled into the curve of Edward's arm.

How close she was to being wrong.

It spilled out of him. His hunger, Seth's broken body, the guilt that plagued him, Leah's emotions, Carlisle's disappointment. Alice listened in silence for the whole thing. She made small noises to indicate her interest, and her empathy.

Sometimes he thought she should have been the empath. She was so much better with emotions than he was. She knew what to do; when to poke at wounds to drain their bitterness and when to sew them so they could heal. He fumbled in the dark, groping for a way out.

She was quiet for a long moment after he finished. "Jasper, sweetie..." She started, and he could hear the rustle of sheets as she repositioned herself. "I don't rightfully know what to tell you." Her voice was hesitant, each word thought about before spoken aloud. For once, he wished he was Edward, if only so he could pluck her thoughts from her mind and know what she truly thought of him.

Though he wasn't sure he could survive what he would see.

* * *

Hello lovelies. Sorry for disappearing. Life has gone to hell in a hand basket. To make it up to you, have an extra long chapter. I do have some questions. How's the pacing? Do you guy's find it slow? Seth will get up soon, promise. What about Leah? Do you like Leah? Do you want longer chapters like this, or shorter ones like before? Do you find me annoying yet? DO YOU LIKE ME /flings self at leg and ignores as you desperately try to shake me off. LOVE MEEE

ahem.

imean... thank you dear readers ;3


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